Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
