scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
