I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
