i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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