super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just cut my nipple shaving
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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