Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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