We're like a lot better than the average bears
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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