He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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