Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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