; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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