So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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