am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
so much tequila, so little girl.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
