all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
