Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
