got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize