i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize