sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
