You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just invented taco cereal.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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