Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
