I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
