I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
