The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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