help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
