If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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