I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
