I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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