Do you still have your period?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Randomize