my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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