im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
