it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
