I think im going to throw up on grandma
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
