I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
