the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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