you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
