Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize