My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
