Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
