apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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