Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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