Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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