Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
