it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
