she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
