hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize