just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
