Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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