if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
