Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
