..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
