I wish I could punch you in the face.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
