I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I seem to have left my pride at pride
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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