There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
