Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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