you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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