Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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