i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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