Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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