So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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