I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
