Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize