the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
