He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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