bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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