If i come over, it means nothing
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
