I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
