Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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