Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
