well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
